Thoughts of a confused Time Lord

Independence Day

2008-06-29T11:39:52Z

Just had to share this:

http://www.youtube.com/user/visionarypeace

However there's no way I'm going to admit that I got there via Daid Icke's website!

Give Me A Break!

2008-06-17T12:32:39Z

I spent last weekend with my parents. At one point the conversation turned to the sudoku jurors and from there to jury service in general. Most people get called for jury service once in their life, many never get called up. In my case I've already done it twice, which is unusual.

I commented that to be called up with my lifestyle as it currently is would be extremely inconvenient and expensive. Jury trials are definitely a Good Thing, however three times before the age of fifty would be above and beyond the call of duty. Not even I could be that unlucky.

Me and my big mouth. I got home yesterday to find a letter telling me I'd been selected for the local panel shortlist. I haven't technically been called up yet but probably will be within the next year.

To paraphrase Basil Fawlty: "Thank you universe, thank you so bloody much!"

"The Doctor's Daughter" Review (Spoilers but who cares?)

2008-05-11T21:23:42Z

WARNING: SPOILERS (although I'm not sure it's possible to spoil something this bad)

This was without doubt the Worst Episode Ever, worse even than "Fear Her".

For a start the idea of the Doctor having a daughter is just *wrong*; ok, Hartnell called Susan his granddaughter but I've always rationalised this as a way he could avoid getting arrested by the police of any planet on which he landed! Had Jenny turned out to be a "true" daughter then the series would have jumped one massive shark - as it is they just about got away with it. However the way they did it made no sense.

Why would the humans have been so keen to process a random arrival? There's no suggestion they've got a problem with the gene pool. Since they have female soldiers why didn't they process Martha and Donna as well? Why would their machine produce a female from a male sample? Is a Timelord so easily recreated? If so, how come the Doctor hasn't thought to rebuild his race? Or the Master to replicate himself? And if Jenny has true Timelord regeneration abilities, wouldn't the Doctor have "sensed" her? Etc etc

The plot. Well, standard principle. Doctor brings peace to foolish warring factions - yawn. So they tried to liven it up with the lovely twist about the length of the war... well, it would have been a lovely twist except that it made no difference. Whether the war had been going on for 7 days, 7 years or 7 centuries made sod all difference to the story.

No difference that is except adding plot holes. How come the General was relatively old? If he'd been replicated wouldn't he have been a young soldier? But if he'd been there since the war began he's have known the true facts about the planet. Which might have been interesting - him keeping the war going to remain in power. However they didn't suggest that.

And are we really saying that *nobody* from the original group survived for seven days? The war didn't seem *that* bloody - if it had been they'd have been wading through bodies. We can assume that anyone from the original colonists would have passed the background information on - it would take more than seven days to lose that knowledge at the level of attrition suggested by the story. Even then there would be written and computer records, those would take a lot more than seven days to become useless.

And the whole story is rooted in one of the silliest and most unnecessary examples of (pardon the pun) hand-waving temporal paradox yet.

Oh, and an organisation goes to colonise an alien planet yet is so badly run that they have no chain of command and the death of one man results in a bloodbath? Actually, now I think of it, it reminds me of some places I've worked.

The Fishheads. Gorgeous aliens - wasted. We got to know nothing about them or their society, they might just as well have been humans in a different uniform. And why would colonists to a desolate world take *fish* people to live in underground caverns?!? If they're planning to turn the place into an ocean world then they could just have replicated or invited them after doing the terraforming. And if they were intending to live and work together wouldn't they have had some sort of translation device? Or is that too difficult for a science that can instantly replicate a Timelord from a tissue sample?

Sets? A joke. Worse than using an old gravel pit. They even had the cheek to *say* "this is a theatre"!

And, an ongoing complaint this series, the music continue to be intrusive and way over-the-top. Any time anything important happens we have to put up with a great swell of the sickly stuff.

Overall I might have forgiven this as an aberration. But keeping Jenny alive at the end suggests plans for a spin-off or - worse - a companion in a later series.

No.

Even though Georgia Moffett is Davison's daughter this character must now be banished from our screens forever.

Fingerprint "Bounty" on Brown

2008-04-06T11:19:33Z

In a wonderful publicity stunt, NO2ID and Privacy International are offering a reward to anyone who can legally obtain the fingerprints of Gordon Brown and Jacqui Smith:

ID card rebels offer £1,000 for Brown's fingerprints

This strikes me as a great idea. After all if they've nothing to hide...

I wonder if either will have the guts to call the bluff and claim the reward?

Doctor Who: Partners in Crime review (no spoilers)

2008-04-05T19:54:12Z

So the new companion's grandfather is played by an actor who was once briefly a companion himself (1966 movie, non-canon). Nice touch. But the real question is: what about Donna?

I admit that I was worried when I heard Catherine Tate was to be the new companion. Partly this was because in The Runaway Bride Donna was not just feisty but bordering on the nasty. A companion who stands up for herself is great but if we don't actually like the character then it doesn't work (remember Adric and Turlough). Fortunately they've made her less prickly than in Bride so I think that'll work.

My other big worry was that Tate is a comedienne. Getting the comedy level right in Who is always a difficult balance and when it goes wrong it goes badly wrong - as the Douglas Adams era showed.

This episode was definitely on the humorous end of the scale - the window scene cracked me up. That's fair enough, by all means make use of Tate's comedic experience. I'm just crossing my fingers that they can avoid taking the comedy too far.

Story? Nothing really, closer to a Sarah-Jane Adventure. The aliens were secondary, the story was about the Doctor and Donna getting back together.

Overall not a classic episode but an effective light-hearted season starter. And after watching last night's Torchwood finale I'm not going to grumble about a smiley episode!

The Secret Show: U.Z.Z vs T.H.E.M.

2008-03-24T13:29:38Z

Kids today have some great programmes. Shaun the Sheep, The Sarah Jane Adventures, Stupid... My latest discovery is The Secret Show. The animation is the sort of simplified jagged stuff I don't particularly like but the surreal stories and humour are just my style. In many ways it's a sharper, modern version of DangerMouse.

Check out the trailer then set your video recorder.

Today you can call me FlubbaWubbaBubbaBubbaBubbaBubba.

Zombies - For Real?

2008-03-22T21:29:41Z

Hat tip to owenblacker for pointing out this great article:

5 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Apocalypse Could Actually Happen

I think the scariest thing in the piece is nothing to do with zombies but the opening:

"We found out recently that if you try to leave a little kid in a graveyard late at night, he'll freak out. Even if you offer to leave him a gun to protect himself"

We're probably better off not knowing what that's about.

Adrift

2008-03-21T22:09:56Z

tchernabyelo was unlucky. Adrift was by far the worst episode of Torchwood this season, reminiscent of series one. No story, no atmosphere, heavy handed. The idea had potential but was undeveloped.

It looked to me like a "no time or budget" episode. To meet the tight filming schedules Doctor Who has one episode per season where the Doctor hardly appears - this is shot in parallel with another show. I suspect Adrift was Torchwood's equivalent and there was/will be an episode where Gwen hardly appears because she was off doing this.

Torchfire and Steel

2008-03-19T22:03:30Z

A great Torchwood episode from P.J Hammond. It didn't make a lot of sense but it didn't have to.

The SF-ghost genre is one of my favourites, I really wish someone would give P.J. another series of his own.

EGG RIP

2008-03-08T22:20:18Z

"A good DM only rolls the dice for the sound they make"

- E Gary Gygax

US Election 2008

2008-01-11T11:31:53Z

Obviously I won't get to vote in the US elections, but just for fun I did this quiz, trying to answer as if I lived in America. Here are my results:

90% Dennis Kucinich
89% Mike Gravel
84% Chris Dodd
81% Barack Obama
80% Hillary Clinton
79% John Edwards
77% Joe Biden
69% Bill Richardson
38% Rudy Giuliani
27% John McCain
26% Ron Paul
19% Mike Huckabee
18% Mitt Romney
16% Tom Tancredo
8% Fred Thompson

2008 Presidential Candidate Matching Quiz

Remind me never to invite Fred Thompson out for a drink.

Bang Goes The Neighbourhood

2007-11-13T21:28:48Z

Exploding pavements aren't the sort of thing you expect in a leafy suburb like Morningside. But that's what we had tonight.

A little earlier there was a large "bang", the lights all flickered then the power went out. It stayed out for a second or two then came back on. Given the noise I assumed that something had shorted in the flat. I looked round and everything seemed OK, plus all the breakers were in place.

So I looked out the window and saw lots of other people looking out of windows plus a few standing in the street looking towards the main road. In the pavement opposite where my street meets the main road there was a large hole in the pavement with paving stones scattered around - and it was still smoking!

A little later the police and fire brigade turned up. They didn't seem too worried and didn't clear the area so I decided it was safe and went down with my camera. Unfortunately it was night and there was no way I was going too close, so I didn't manage to get any good shots. You might just be able to make out something in the one below.

One of the firemen told me it was probably a knock-on effect from an earlier large fire in town. That would have caused the main electricity grid to have been rerouted and the extra load caused an underground cable to explode.

The fortunate thing is that nobody seems to have been hurt. Had someone been walking along that stretch of pavement, or even if a car had just been passing, it could have been very nasty.

The Universe Strikes Back

2007-10-31T22:18:03Z

Yesterday morning I managed to pull a muscle in my back. Nothing serious, I'll be fine in another day or so.

At first I thought it was just "one of those things" and I put it down to being 45. Then I realised the real reason it happened...

On Saturday a certain C ran "the game". The one that brings down plague and pestilence on me and mine.

We'd been careful not to talk openly about it so managed to slip my attendance past the universe. As a result I actually managed to get to play for the first time (and burnt down the inn! Yeah!). However the universe must have realised it had been fooled and sent down retribution a couple of days later.

Well, I prefer that explanation to accepting that I'm no longer in my 20s :-)

Free Music

2007-10-26T11:27:43Z

Public service announcemnt: a huge amount of free music is available to download legally at www.we7.com This includes unsigned artists as well as classic tracks that will be familiar to people of my generation.

The catch? Each track has a short ad at the beginning, but that shouldn't be a problem.

The History of Blogging

2007-10-26T07:40:49Z

I found the above on a blog post titled Why Twitter Isn't A Waste of Time. Sorry, no matter how hard I try I still fail to see the appeal.

Dave

2007-10-18T08:58:47Z

We now have a UK TV channel called Dave.

Dave?!?

OK, that's it. I give up. I admit that the modern world surpasseth my understanding.

So I hereby resign myself to being a grumpy old codger whittering on about how it was all better in the old days. Bring back real TV.

Send More Paramedics

2007-10-03T14:28:02Z

40%

Disease & Disorder

2007-09-18T11:03:12Z

I'm beginning to suspect that a certain CH of this parish might either be an anti-paladin or have been cursed by one.

Earlier this year he started a role-playing campaign. Despite several attempts I have yet to play in a single session of this. Why? Because every time I try to do so, it seems that a "Cause Disease" spell is cast on me, my friends and/or family.

I don't even have to plan to play. Even talking about "that game" can cause things to happen. It's now got so bad that even not talking about it can inflict pestilence on clan Meltroid.

Last week nonesuchhouse sent out an email in which he very carefully didn't mention the game. However we all knew what he meant and that seemed to be enough to spark off the curse.

Within three hours of reading that email I learned that my mother was sick in bed with a virus. A couple of days later my Dad came down with it as well. Because of possible complications I decided to go over there for the weekend. So what happens?

Yep. Before I can leave Edinburgh *I* go down with a blasted bug and spend most of the weekend in bed!

All is well now, everyone is pretty much on the mend, but I remain amazed by the power of "that game". I suppose that's what happens when you let donkeys talk.

Geek Rant: CSS Abuse

2007-09-12T10:42:21Z

It's no secret that I have "issues" with the use of CSS, especially for content positioning as opposed to appearance, but that's not what I want to rant about here. Rather it's the misguided use of CSS styling to make a page "look good" at the expense of usability.

If I'm reading a web page, then I want to be in control. I should be able to decide on the font size to suit my eyesight, screen resolution, number of concurrent windows I have open etc. Similarly, if I want to see more of a site on the screen I expand the window - and I expect the text area to expand with it. I do not want a thin strip of text with massive blank borders!

These seem to me to be basic usability issues. Common sense. Yet I'm seeing more and more sites out there - often blogs created from a template - getting these fundamentals wrong. They use CSS to enforce particular font sizes and, even worse, fixed width content areas. The latter are usually because they have some pretty background or header image.

This is just plain wrong. These people are creating posters, not websites.

Despite my aforementioned issues with CSS, I really am trying to get used to it for styling (though I still insist on using tables for layout to preserve the container-content metaphor). Unfortunately the increasing abuse of CSS makes it difficult for me to overcome my prejudices. I appreciate a good design as much as the next person, even if I can't create one, but no way should appearance ever compromise basic usability.

Graphic designers are used to being in total control of how content looks. HTML robbed them of much of that control, now with CSS they're trying to grab it back. Increasingly it looks like they're being successful, especially in the blogosphere.

Vive la résistance!

Markov Your Jourmal

2007-09-05T12:30:16Z

Just discovered this great little page:

http://hewgill.com/cgi-bin/ljmarkov.pl

Type in your LJ username and it reads your journal then spews out random text constructed from fragments of your own words. Here's my favourite from mine:

They're currently suggesting it might indicate an understanding of consciousness in the High Dependency Unit, the staff:patient ratio is unusually high. Woke this morning feeling fine but during the car journey down it would have been incompetent morons who didn't manage to kill anyone. But it's hard not to eat apes. Not because of any intelligence but because of any intelligence but because of the school holidays. The airport was full of families with kids. The title says it all. Mum left hospital on the scene.

How to Make Money From Writing

2007-08-26T07:59:28Z

Sell a $2 pack of Pokemon cards on ebay for $142! A woman has just done that because people enjoyed the story that went with the listing:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=130144061675

Good for her.

Shooting Stars

2007-08-13T09:42:02Z

So, did you stay up to watch the Perseid meteor shower? I didn't, but I did look up into the sky before going to bed and saw one excellent trail.

Then I went to bed and lay there thinking of The Day of the Triffids...

Nuts in The Links

2007-08-08T10:45:31Z

As mentioned by nonesuchhouse I spent yesterday evening playing poker at The Links bar (not a pub I'd usually choose). It was good fun, you can read more details at my shiny new poker blog.

Why I Don't Eat Apes

2007-08-02T11:00:31Z

I'm a confirmed non-vegetarian and the only type of animal I've always said I wouldn't eat on principle (as opposed to taste) is the ape.

An interesting BBC article today shows that apes are smart enough to vary their behaviour strategy according to its effectiveness. This reinforces my decision not to eat apes. Not because of any intelligence but because of the possibility that it might indicate an understanding of consciousness in the observer and hence consciousness in self (there are of course other explanations).

I used to say that I wouldn't eat anything intelligent. Since I've become less interested in raw intelligence and more interested in consciousness I now I say that I won't eat anything with consciousness. That, of course, is a bit of a cop-out: I can't even properly define consciousness let alone prove it (for all I know you could all be philosophical zombies).

One of the few experiments that might even come close to indicating self-consciousness is the mirror mark test. Here an animal is acclimatised to a mirror then, when it's asleep, a spot is painted on its head. When the animal is re-introduced to the mirror, does it react as if it understands that the spot is on it rather than the mirror image?

This test in no way proves or disproves consciousness - there are alternative explanations for both success and failure. However the mirror test is currently the best we've got.

Most animals fail the test completely. Although elephants, dolphins and chimpanzees have had some limited success, only apes conclusively pass.

So for now I'll turn down ape pie and think twice about dolphin, elephant and chimpanzee stew. But bring on the bacon sandwiches!

Sky News: "Doctor Who Raised Fears...

2007-07-17T08:19:56Z

... over MMR jab has appeared before medical watchdog"

Talk about totally misunderstanding the first few words of a news ticker!